Thanks everyone. Slept soundly last night. Even had a dream about being delivered. Staying very close to the Sacraments and also some Sacramentals in these times, which are helping. God is working everything out for the good, it feels.
Then it is forgiven! Let it go. Now make an act of will in Jesus's Name to forgive yourself. If Jesus has forgiven you--and He has--then you must forgive yourself. Dont pay attention to emotion. This is in the will.
This is wonderful news. Lots of prayers from the forum going up for you and they are being answered. A great example of the mercy of Jesus. Stand strong Sanctus. You will get through this.
That reminds me of a story of Padre Pio. A woman kept coming to him and confessing the same sin again and again and he told her to stop it, she was forgiven and absolved of the sin. Finally he told her if she didn't stop he would slap her. She went to another priest and confessed it again and suddenly Padre Pio was there and he slapped her. As Ann said forget emotion, this is in the will, you are loved and forgiven!
Sanctus, I hope you are more at peace with all the forum members praying for you. I think you are wise to fear going to hell, just repent and you will be ok. There is an old saying; when the devil reminds you of your past, remind the devil of his future, that should put him to flight. Please read the link that should encourage you no matter what you did in the past, this story is WORSE, and the soul was saved. http://www.renewamerica.com/columns/abbott/191120 There is a very good way of assuring yourself that God has forgiven you what ever you have confessed. All you have to do is forgive others when they get on your nerves or hurt you in any way. When you, a poor sinner can forgive your fellow man or woman; you would offend Almighty God if you were to allow yourself to believe you were able to outdo God in generosity. In other words if you can forgive someone who has offended you, how could you not believe God could forgive you too. It is not about the sin, it is about the forgiveness. The hard part is realising, the devil will try and convince you, God can not forgive you, the mistake Judas made.
Better late than never. Store up my prayers for the future? O Mary conceived without sin, pray for Sanctus who has recourse to thee!
I was walking along this morning thinking of how lacking I am in Trust for God, falling so short of the example of Our Lady and the saints. I wondered how on Earth (or Heaven) Our Lady did it? She knew, she always knew her only Son was going to die a horrible death yet she never worried for an instance. How did she do it? Well in the first place she was the Immaculate Conception without stain of sin so never wavered for a second in Union with the Divine Will . Gods' Will was hers, she was lost in God's Will. 'Like the eyes of a Servant on the Hand of a Servant on the Hands of her Master'. But what of the saints? So many quite spectacular Signs of Trust, of total trust in God. Why do I fall so far short? Why the worrying and fretting all the time? Then the Lord reminded me that it is like a boxing match. He didn't expect a knock out blow of trust from me. He just expected me in the ring in there trying. When something worried me just to keep gently taking it to Him again and again in prayer. Not to have the victory in overcoming, but the victory in just keeping on hammering away their trying. Other people may land knock out blows, I am just an old scrapper, take it to the Lord in prayer. Take it to the Lord in prayer. Keep on trying. For us very little ones that has to be enough. Hopefully the knock out blow will come with heaven.
Sometimes reading the lives of the saints can be very deflating. But the point of the saints was not that they were perfect. The point of the saints was that they were sinners but stayed right on in there and kept trying.
