I often wonder was a curse placed upon me in childhood. Perhaps that Shaman "healer" I visited 11 years ago may have placed one on me, or maybe a spell was placed on me in childhood. If there was I hope I can break it. Hopefully the help will come, I rang a priest earlier who says he is going to pray around the matter.
Do you know who could help you in a big way. Marino Restrepo! His email address is; marinorestrepo@hotmail.com He does travel and give talks. He can also be contacted by email. I hope sharing the email will not cause poor Marino an avalanche of emails from people who are not in real dire need. Blood of Christ, cover Marino's email address with Your precious Blood, allow only Sanctus to remember it. Amen. Marino Restrepo was into all sorts of silly dangerous stuff when Jesus showed him where he was headed (to hell). If you want to know more about him, his testimony when he went to New Zealand some years ago was the best version I heard in getting to know all about his straying away from the Faith at 14 years of age and his reversion in his 40's. Pray about what bothers you and ask the Lord to help you bring the main problems to Marino. Once you have heard the mission Jesus has put him on and the extraordinary graces he receives for every one who comes to him, you should have a lot of confidence in him. He is Church approved.
I too have felt that God can use a His creatures to comfort us. The cardinal is the one I always associate with my loved ones who have passed.
Thanks Julia. I am very familiar with Marino as I have listened to many of his talks. Thanks again. I will email him.
It is interesting that you thought for a while you were a lost predestined soul during the period of depression you suffered, Julia. I have been going through the exact same thing the past 7 months. I can't explain it. Perhaps it is part of the dark night. I know there is the passive night and active night of the soul and senses, maybe this has something to do with it.
I think Julia's post is full of great hope and wisdom Sanctus. Spiritual anguish is the worst suffering in the world. Padre Pio had bouts of it. So did St Therese. This terrible sense of being damned. I have often wondered if this is what Jesus suffered in Gethsemane in His human nature. St Paul says "he became sin" and thus was cut off completely from the Father on our behalf. So terrible that He sweat Blood. I beg that His Precious Bloody sweat in the garden may by His mercy bring you consolation and healing.
The Dark Night is a more than a little different for all souls . We are not all equal as the Demcratision thing from the 18th century might suggest. There are nine choirs of Angel's It depends were you are destined to go. St Therese of Liseaux and St Tereasa of the Andes for instance meant for the top choir of angels. This is a very, very un modern way of looking at things But it is still the truth We're not all the same We're not all equal. We're all very, very, very different
This is so hard for modern Catholics to understand. We have been taught that everything and everyone is the same at some deep level that we have come to believe at a deepest level that it is part of our DNA
We believe that everyone at a deep level, Faith or no Faith is basically good. That at a bottom level that everyone and everything is basically nice. This is insane But it's a common insanity.
In America they are more realistic about the everyone is nice thing. In Europe they're insane about the everyone nice thing.
That is why "there are many mansions in heaven" and also many levels of hell. To the degree one gave God glory in this life will depend on what level in heaven one merits. Same will hell. It seems today many are running hard for the lowest levels of hell, as communism is returning very fast now.
Thanks AED... spoken beautifully....my sentiments too: I beg that His Precious Bloody sweat in the garden may by His mercy bring you consolation and healing.
I believe numbers have meaning. 39 is the conflict you are going through. You are caught between light and still thinking about darkness. The real issue is you believe in God. That causes many issues. You need to forget your past because that is holding you down spiritually. Yes, you dabbled in darkness, but if you now understand it was wrong...and you have confessed your participation. Its time to move on. Use it as teaching tool, but don’t use it as crutch for bad things that happen. As for dark night of the soul. Every saint is different. The Great works you mentioned are just glimpses to the spiritual. I will give you a secret...the closer you get to God, the more challenges you will have to overcome. Being close to God will give you moments of joy. But when you start getting close to God...all the dark creatures around you will get rilled up. They will try to knock you off your path. If they don’t take care of problem then the “created one” gets involved. Jesus never said it would be easy...and our religion is based on denying oneself and sacrifice. But if you can endure the battle... the inner joy will permeate from you. Even though inside there might be a little sadness. christianity is a interesting religion. It goes against everything the modern world believes. That is why many of us are having problems. We don’t belong here. i wish i could be more help but maybe i see the number also.
Fallen Saint you have hit the nail on the head. Is it in proverbs that we are told "Son expect hard trials when you come to serve the Lord." It is almost axiomatic. One of my very closest friends --a cradle Catholic--had been living a life far from the Lord. When by God's grace she experienced metanoia and went to confession after years and determined to live for God her whole world came apart. She was really thrown into the deep end of the pool. Spiritual Warfare immediately. She held on and battled through the agony. She knew the "created one" was trying to have her back and her whole family. It was a fierce struggle. But then God moved in stunning fashion. The worst of the attacks were stopped in their tracks. Now it wasnt easy. All the difficulties and problems for the most part remained but the big ruinous horrible immediate attack was removed. Now these many years later she is still a faithful Catholic but every day has its troubles. You are right. We do not belong here. Now more than ever. And a terrible sifting is in progress. We must hold on for all we are worth and trust that " He Who had begun a good work in you will complete it unto the time of Our Lord Jesus Christ."
There is wisdom and truth in your words here.... St.Bernadette would concur. She said Our Lady said that we would not find true happiness in this world, only in the next. Good to know that this life isn’t all there is. If we get this right, happiness awaits.
Good point. In the bible 40 of course is a special number. 40 days 0f rain for Noah, 40 days of fasting for Jesus in the desert and for 39 days Goliath taunted the Israelites and on the 40'th day David came out with his trusty slingshot and slew Goliath. Perhaps it's darkest on the 39'th but perhaps the 40'th is right around the corner. Just Sam musing here.
I believe that unfortunately I may have picked up an oppression or something along those lines having meddled in those things as a teenager. I'm praying I can find help to be set free. I'm unaware of any exorcist in the country (not surprisingly.)
Sanctus, you could try Holy water daily and weekly confessions...I’ve heard confessions is like a mini exorcism! Satan hates the rosary...keep one on you always....and the miraculous medal. also, your local bishop should be able to refer you to the nearest exorcist.
