Thanks to everyone who responded to my post. That's fascinating, Padraig. It wouldn't have occurred to me - such a connection. I'll definitely keep it (and other) in mind "tonight."
It seems another example of people's lives being manipulated to follow the timescale of business rather than their natural traditions. Segmented sleep times would interfere with the working day. Pressure is then applied to people to have a full eight hours sleep in order to function more profitably at work.
Interesting that you mention this about praying at night, ds7. Our Lady in one of her recent messages has been calling us to pray "day and night". I have also begun praying in the early hours upon waking.
Years and years ago when I was in the Monastery I used to love praying in the little Infirmary Chapel in front of the Blessed Sacrament. I am not quite sure how may hours a day I spent in there I would guess maybe four or five. Anyway one really beautiful summers evening I was in praying when I heard the voice of the Lord saying to me clear as day, 'Go outside and pray' This surprised me a little, I thought this would be the last thing He might want as He had me right were He wanted me so to speak. But I did go and it was wonderful to walk in sun through the woods in the lovely gardens. Then a few days later I had a dream. I dreamt I was showing a young man who was thinking of joining the monastery around and he looked at me intently and said, 'Within a month you will leave here'. I woke up laughing it was so ridiculous. I was living me dream. Living all I wanted to do, pray, pray, pray. Also I was going to be a priest.I laughed at the very idea. Shortly after this the Lights went out. I went into the Dark Night of the Soul. When I say I went into it I mean the lights totally went out. No more God. This was so hard because I had given myself so totally to prayer. When you give all you lose all when it seems to go. I used to go down to walk the sheepdogs in the morning but one morning I went down and was crying so hard they looked at my face and I would not come with me. I think I frightened them. But at the time it seemed that even the dogs had turned against me. A short while after this I went into my cell and found a note someone had left there. it shocked me a little as it meant someone had breached my privacy by going in without permission. The note showed that when I went up for final profession that a few of the monks would reject me in the voting. In other words I knew I would be accepted there. I went at once to the Abbot and asked hi to confirm this , showing him the note. He did. i asked him why he had never told me and he just looked uncomfortable. Pretty well the last words he said to me was that he thought I was mentally ill because I prayed too much. Leaving the monastery was a killer but getting back home was even worse. My father was furious and we had a huge row. I left home feeling rejected and not wanted there too and went to stay in a lodging house. The Land Lord was awful and I lay there looking at the ceiling. No God. No monastery. No home. No priesthood. No money, No job. No home to go to. All the friends I had I had left behind me after my conversion. A real, real low point. Then the door knocked. It was my brothers and their friends. They were worried about me and came to ask me out for a drink.You know that was the point I started to bounce back up again. You when Jesus lay dying on the Cross He said..and this is something I often think off. 'For thou oh Lord are Holy Enthroned on the praises of Israel.' THis causes me to think of that time my brothers came to knock on my door and call me back. That there is always family. That is what family are for. There are always people who love us. When we can find love nowhere else we can always find it in them. So in them God is Enthroned on the Praises of Israel. I think that is what Jesus was saying on the Cross. That there are times when things get so low you just have to lie back and let other people carry you. ..and as we are carried ,we too are Enthroned on the Praises of the People of Israel when we can no longer give Praise ourselves. We have to be humble enough and brought low enough to let ourselves be Carried. ..and that is a Great and Wonderful lesson to learn. Sometimes it needs to get Dark enough for us to see.
God is most present when He seems not there at all. When we no longer think we contain Him. When we simply are too wounded and little to do anything else but let ourselves be carried.
I must think about this Padraig--this dark night you endured. Purification of a searing kind and how wonderful for your brothers to come and find you. Clearly Our Lord had other plans for you than the Monastery. But I can feel the pain of it. In Sister Josefa's diary at one point Jesus said to her "I work in the dark--yet I am the Light." I take great comfort in this.
I think in a way we can kind of view our Faith as a sort of hobby. An also ran in our lives. But God does not want 10% or 50% or even 99% of us; He wants every little bit of it. He is a very greedy and jealous God. Also I think it is one thing to consider ourselves sinners and quite another to get our noses stuck right into their reality. Perhaps this is why teenage children and their parents can fight quite a lot. Each of them is sticking the others heads in the reality of their own shortcomings. In a way the Dark Night is a bit like this. God dunking our heads in the reality of our own littleness.
This is what I seem to be experiencing at the moment, Padraig. God seems to want me to relinquish the control I have over my own life. It is very scary at times. I have this horrible fear all the time that something is going to happen to me that I won't be able to handle.
Well it can seem like tight rope walking at times. But God' got your back. ...and when God's got your back, your back's well got.
The feeling of fear and abandonment is very intense at times. I think God is showing me that my own resources have failed me and that I need to rely on Him rather than looking outside for the answer .
Keep sharing, Sanctus. It is our time to learn from you. Prayers. O Mary conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to thee!
Be kind to yourself. St Teresa of Avila says that people in this state deserve the very greatest sympathy. There is a lovely story about a sister in the dolrums coming to the saint and she sat her down and cooked her a big steak with some nice trimmings and a big glass of wine. Don't be afraid to change your spiritual regime. Be light onyour feet. Be kind to yourself.
I know it sounds the strangest thing to say, for it is totally against the Spirit of this World but the Life that is not Hard is not worth Living. It is at the Times that we are most Nailed to the Cross with Christ, those are the Times when we are most authentically Living the True Christian Life. This truth is, in fact contained in the Words of Jesus in the Sermon on the Mount: Matthew 5:11 The Beatitudes …10Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 11Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of Me. 12Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven; for in the same way they persecuted the prophets before you.…
Beautiful thoughts Padraig. My son is wandering through such a dark night, feeling broken hearted, and rejected after a bitter dissapointment. He wasn't going to come home for the Thanksgiving holiday, but at the last minute he had a change of heart, and I was truly grateful for his presence. Our family may not be able to fix all of his problems, but at least he was home where he is loved unconditionally. I agree, to be humble is a great lesson indeed.
As the song, says, 'To count your blessings instead of sheep, then I fall asleep counting my blessings...' . Maybe that is what Thanksgiving is all about? A lovely idea/ I guess being grateful for all the blessings is the star that guides us all through the Dark Times.
There seem to be a few instances of hurt from the past that God wants me to examine. Holding on to those hurts seem to be keeping me trapped spiritually and mentally, creating a "malady" of some kind. Thankfully a recovery seems to be occurring, though!
