I am already praying daily for those who hurt me. I desire Heaven for them. No bad intentions for them, no desire to take 'revenge' or hurt them in any way. So, this is not an issue for me. +
Then it seems you are doing exactly what you are supposed to do. From St. Faustina's diary: During Holy Mass, I saw Jesus stretched out on the Cross, and He said to me, My pupil, have great love for those who cause you suffering. Do good to those who hate you. I answered, “O my Master, You see very well that I feel no love for them, and that troubles me.” Jesus answered, It is not always within your power to control your feelings. You will recognize that you have love if, after having experienced annoyance and contradiction, you do not lose your peace, but pray for those who have made you suffer and wish them well (Diary, 1628).
Thanks, Sam for your reply. This is the problem. I am not at peace, because my relationships with these people are not what they should be. The other parties do not want to make it right, for their own reasons, I suppose, and it affects me. I don't know how to pretend that things are okay, and it makes me feel that I don't know what forgiveness is. +
From what you have said, the other people do not seem to want to make it right. Well, you are only responsible for your part in this, your “side of the street”, as it were. As long as you have tried to make amends for your part in it, then you have done what is expected. Again, this is not based on feelings. Too bad we cannot bring about the outcomes we want, but we can’t.
It takes time. Lots of time to heal. Keep praying. Our Lord was betrayed. Lots of people did not like Him. No servant is greater than His Master. We have to walk that road. He is there with us.
It's not easy to forgive and forget. That little voice in us wants to constantly relive the hurt and pain. But those things are of earth, not of heaven. I like to think that when we are in heaven our total focus will be on worshiping God. And if the people here on earth want to join me I will be delighted! It will be so awesome the things we experienced on earth, and the pains will be forgotten and gone. They will be meaningless. So, make them meaningless now. Try to be the best you can be and put it all in God's hands. Jesus will lead you, forget the grudges. It doesn't matter . . .really. It's insignificant in the big scheme of things.
Sg, After earth’s Exile, I hope to go and enjoy you in the Fatherland, But I do not want to lay up merits for heaven. I want to work for your Love Alone with the one purpose of pleasing you: To console your Sacred Heart, and to save souls who will love you forever. In the above, Therese's concern is focused on her love for Jesus, not on what she needs to do to attain Heaven. She wants to bring joy to Christ's Heart. Notice that even her desire to save souls is so Jesus will be loved more. It appears Therese wants to bring joy to His Heart and by doing so, any concern for her own salvation takes second fiddle. In the evening of this life, I shall appear before you with empty hands. Lord, I do not ask you to count my works. All our justice is stained in your eyes. I wish, then, to be clothed in your own Justice and by your Love to receive you as my eternal possession. Therese strikes me as saying, "Jesus, anything I offer done in my own strength is worth diddlysquat! But if you clothe me in your Justice and work through me in the power of your Love then we'll be united forever! So here is a beautiful, young saint who knew her weaknesses and shortcomings; even in her dark night when she was suffering terribly from tuberculosis (age 24) and had lost sense of God's presence, she wrote her very last letter on August 10, seven weeks before her death. It was to a seminarian named Maurice; she finishes: A Dieu, dear little brother, may God give us the grace to love Him and to save souls for Him. This is the wish of Your unworthy little sister of the Child Jesus and of the Holy Face r.c.i. And so she finishes, never concerned for herself, but only for the love of God and the salvation of souls! Jesus, we trust in You!
Yes, we want all souls to go to heaven and worship God! Even those we feel have done us wrong . . .our desire is to worship God, not anything of this earth. We have to let go of ego to accomplish this, and that is giving our will up to God. Easier said than done, I know . . .but work at it. Our life here is our school. We might not find peace on earth, but we will find it in Heaven. I love St. Therese, she has done so much for me.
Sg, About three years ago, whether intentional or not, a person very close to me stated that I was not in their top ten list. This pain seared my heart. So deep was this hurt, I was afraid to bring it up lest they confirm that what they said was true! And so I carried this pain for two years and cried at times when reminded. Finally, I had to choose to place it entirely in God's hands and cut the strings the allowed me to keep taking it back. I did so by trusting ultimately only in the Love of the Two Hearts, for they are untainted by earthly scruples. Today I was on the phone with that person for 25 minutes and no pain arose to constrict my heart. I love you, Jesus and Mary. Thank you!
This is a difficult question. This is how I see it. We are called to forgive the other.....Yes But are we called to forget the others actions.....No Because this would mean that we are stupid. How? If I was mugged by a drug addict, while walking down kings cross road in Sydney at 0200 hours, I can forgive this person that mugged me;....... Yes. But am I to forget the circumstances, the time, the street, the proceeding events?........No Otherwise ( if I was to forget) I could be setting myself up for another mugging if not worse! So we are called to forgive the individual but I believe we are not called to forget the circumstances! otherwise we can place ourselves in the same danger at another time!
Good point! And in the area of human relationships, we can’t forget that we are a people set apart by Christ. Oil and water don’t mix. As much as we would desire otherwise. Sometimes we have to shake the dust off our sandals. If by necessity we must interact with these people, we need to do so so with this understanding. Imho only
One thing always helps me . to listen to my thoughts and find I constantly think of God and the things of God God. ...and to listen to my heart and find it always kneeling in prayer.
