What started as a genuine quest for God has turned into something very difficult. I keep telling God I love him and that I want to help others.
Is it possible that God is punishing me for something ? I feel lost and full of pain and feeling I have offended him.
I suffer temptations that tell me I'm damned. Is this coming from God? I hope not because I want to do His will.
No, not coming from God, but coming from the Accuser, the devil. Pray the rosary daily while meditating on the mysteries, as member garabandal advised you. Give that a little time.
Those temptations are horrible. Often I find they happen when I'm doing well and telling God and Jesus that I love them. Then this horrible feeling comes over me
you are not lost if your soul yearns deeply for God and continually seeks support from the sacraments and sacramentals of the Church. indeed, he who is condemned tends to reject the incessant pursuit of God, and absolutely rejects the necessity of his commandments.
Psalm 130 1 Out of the depths I cry to you, O Lord. 2 Lord, hear my voice! Let your ears be attentive to the voice of my supplications! 3 If you, O Lord, should mark iniquities, Lord, who could stand? 4 But there is forgiveness with you, so that you may be revered. 5 I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I hope; 6 my soul waits for the Lord more than those who watch for the morning, more than those who watch for the morning. 7 O Israel, hope in the Lord! For with the Lord there is steadfast love, and with him is great power to redeem. 8 It is he who will redeem Israel from all its iniquities.
I often wonder is God punishing me for something in the past. To give me hope and joy and then take it away. I often can feel full of joy and Christian spirit and then fall into complete darkness.
The satan{accuser} definitely hates to have his ploys turned back against himself and used for the opposite of what he wants-the destruction of man turned to man's salvation. Jesus answered all of the satan's temptations with the truth of God's word. God is allowing this, not doing this or treating you in this way. He must think a lot of you Peter, He knows you can turn the tables on him. The satan is giving you a false ending for yourself. When this happened to St. Teresa of Avila, she always reminded satan of his end. St. Teresa of Avila pray for us!
I would be very glad to think that God thinks alot of me or at least is happy with me,sam. I try to do His will as best I can.
