Inner Chaos and the Life of Prayer “By yourself you are chaos. Do you fully realize this? Do you try to keep it in mind? Have you humbled yourself today in thought or deed? Not to cause you distress nor diminish your strength, but to tighten your hold on the power of your God, who is only waiting for your call. Bossis, Gabrielle. He and I (p. 182). Pauline Books and Media. Kindle Edition. People often think of prayer, the inner journey, and seeking to live a deep spiritual life as a hobby of sorts, which is not all that important. Or if pursued, is something done to get some sort of result? Inner peace, healing, etc. The seeking after God can bring all the above, but often not in ways that people seek, or want. From my experience, and I am truly only speaking for myself here, it is the practice of prayer that allows one to deal with inner chaos in such a way that leads to the fulfillment of one’s purpose. One of the biggest obstacles to prayer is society in general. Cultures want their citizens to lock step in a tight formation. Meanwhile using the term liberation as its catchword. As society becomes more dependent on technology this process is speeded up and harder to overcome. This can be seen on an innocent level by the popularity of tattoos. Everyone has them, they mean nothing but simple ornaments. Yet they can be shortsighted because of the aging process. The in thing is to be oneself, by being like everyone else. This is not always bad if it allows us to deepen our relationship with Infinite. Fashion is another example of mindlessly following the dictates of someone else telling us what is in, and what we need. How do prayer and a deep inner life free us from being herded along following the orders of the prevailing culture? Well, one thing to remember is that we all need some sort of community to live in. We need feedback, as well as the struggle, that allows us to grow in our knowledge of self. A good Spiritual path will bring us in direct opposition to all that is in us that wants to just go along. To sink into the collective and not struggle, at least on the level of morality. Now spirituality has its pitfalls as well. All one needs to do is investigate some of the fanatical forms of religion. That is to be expected given the nature of our species as well. It can be seen in political movements. Even in sports, people go nuts over their home team, and when they lose, well it can be truly tragic for them. As a species, we are trapped in acting out in ways that seem to be programmed. We can’t seem to break out of cycles of war. Hatred comes naturally to us for those who are different. Yet it would seem we go along with it no matter how absurd we know the outcome will be. It is always the same outcome. The problem is that to break out of these ways of acting calls for a deep inner struggle that fights our need for revenge, often called justice, and other forms of collective destruction. The wheel turns and for the most part, it is easy to be caught on the outside of this ever-turning wheel. When we pray from the heart, there is a slow turning towards seeking solutions to the above. The answer seems simple, but it is one of the most difficult chores we are all called to do. It can take a lot of inner struggles, and sweating blood to allow it to happen. It also takes ‘grace’. It is forgiveness of our enemies, to love those who hate us. These words flow easily but are hard to accomplish. It does take death to self to be able to let go of the need for some sort of blood depth. If we could begin with that, then other aspects of our inner lives could be looked at and find answers from living out of our deep center. I guess we can only do this one person at a time, and then as we learn to forgive, love, and let go of other tendencies that lead to chaos in our lives, perhaps change will come. In the United States, the year 2024 is going we be a wild ride. We are backed into some tight corners with no way out. All that seems to be happening is that pretty much two sides are hating each other, throwing the same insults at one another, and thinking that they are taking the high road. I have no idea what is going on. I do know that unless the soul is dealt with, and healing sought, we will take our inner wars outside to those around us. Leading to all of us carrying the pain, anger, and yes, the deep rage of one another. So, pray, give it a try. If you do not know who you pray to, just address your heart, desires, hopes, and yes dreams, to the ‘Great Mystery’. Christians know with whom they seek union I believe that those who pray from the heart, will in the end find Infinite Love waiting for them. It is grace, we can’t earn it, but we are called to seek, knock, and open up our hearts.-Br.MD
