Questioner: kevin Subject: my faith walk Date Asked: 2010-02-07 19:36:04 Date Answered: today Question: I have been a catholic all my life. I am now 37 years old. I've been blessed with great family and friends and spiritual growth. I still struggle with the same things. I work 4 jobs and have struggled as where god wants me. In school i was always behind and was even tested for learning problems. A few years ago I felt inspired to write movies and so I have written two, but have not sold any. It is very difficult to sell scripts. I also feel a call to religious life. (Priest) I feel I need to complete a few more scripts first before further discernment. But I feel so angry at times and frustrating for not being succesful or having many usable skills. I pray the rosary every day, made cursillo, attend healing masses and go on retreats. but I have a lack of peace in me. could you recommand a meditation or prayer for a)where God wants me and b)to attach to god's graces and not my despair. Thank you kevin murphy Answer: Hi Kevin, good to hear from you. I can greatly sympathise with what you write for I , I suppose with most people have ha so many dreams which never came to pass and I suppose never will now; to be a priest, a writer, a buisnessman, the list goes on. One thing I always wanted to be, however was to be a saint. On French writer wrote that, 'The only failure in life is not to be a saint@ .Scripture agrees with this for it is written: Matthew 6:33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Every morning I wake up I realise how I am just at the very,very beginnings of the Road of Prayer but this only makes me happy for now I realise that this Golden Pilgrim Road is Eternal...and if the Road before me is as wonderful as it has been in the past, then I shall not have to wait for heaven for heaven has already found me out. And so I found this Golden dream, this dream of following the path of the saints, no matter that Fall a billion times a day is the dream of dreams and has swallowed my every other dream in its Golden Belly. Not that I still do not dream a little but they are distant echoes now. For I have discovered a very wonderful but sad fact. Wonderful in that I am the very happiest and most peaceful person I know. I wake up in the morning with a large smile on my face and fall asleep at night with the same happy smile stuck there, my heart sings all day like a little bird. Not that there is not pain, sometimes great pain and suffering, but beneath the Golden Sun of Prayer it always summer time and peace with a heart of prayerful love. The sad fact comes when I look around me and see the deep, the very,very deep sadness and restlessness of those around me who follow other dreams and climb other paths. Do not loose your dreams Kevin, for dreams are precious. But fling them in the heart of God, the furnace of His heart of love and you shall them returned to you as precious jewels, glittering and golden transformed in His love. Follow the great path , the Path of Prayer. Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and you shall find rest for your soul, follow the dream of dreams and seek to be holy , then all these other things shall be granted unto you. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will; That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him Forever in the next. Amen. --Reinhold Niebuhr
Well said Padraig - you are truely blessed to have such joy in your life and this gives witness to your love of God.
Thanks Mary and Bobby, lets pray for Kevin together. Some folks say that their happiness days were when they were young. I never found it to be so, for me it was terrible, thank goodness I do not have to do it again. I do not envy the young, I do not envy them at all. Especially now the great darkness has fallen.
very true, Padraig. Prayer is so important to the young, but sadly many homes have abandoned prayer altogether, in lieu of materialism. That article about agressive secularism on the other thread is disturbing to hear, but nothing really surprises me anymore. I can see so many souls, even religious and priests, who are almost ready to fall away from the faith should a great schism that is predicted happen soon. I try to pray as hard as I can every day and I love the Rosary especially. Without it, I would have been lost long ago to the ways of the world, for I have done things in my past that were very wrong. Prayer obtained for me grace, which lead to a great healing and, thank God, the materialisation of a possible vocation to the priesthood. I've been trying to get a family Rosary started at home, and I prayed much over the Christmas break for it to be so, but unfortunately no answer has come yet. A certain family member does not treat me too well at the moment, and I regularly pray for their conversion. If you could offer a little prayer to Our Lady for this intention, I would be ever so grateful. I'm wandering away! I'll keep you all in the prayers, Shane
Sean, I will pray for your intentions. Padre Pio always said 'Pray, hope and don't worry'! Leave all in God's providential hands.
Sean Its hard to get people to say a full rosary if they are not used to it. Try suggesting one decade for the family intentions. If you could get one other person to pray it that would be the start to encourage others. Gradually then they may stretch to the 5 decades. Mary
Sean, Your post reminds me of the words of Jesus, Luke 12:51 "Do you suppose that I came to grant peace on earth? I tell you, no, but rather division; I think after a while this trouble will die down when they see you are sincere. Prayer changes us, its what it is for and some people find it hard to accept such changes. But I found in my own family they did after a while and start to like it too. I notice lately in my own family more of them are coming back to practicing their religion, but it took considerable time. I'll pray for you, but you have Our Lady on your side when you saying the rosary, how can you loose?
