My cousins wife is expecting their first child. I was invited to the baby shower about a month ago and accepted the invitation. Today my family informed me that the expecting mother (whom I have only met once), posted in her social media some pretty nasty pro abortion garbage. I have no desire to attend the shower after learning about this. How would you handle this situation?
Goodness... I think it depends on your personality. If you're like me and have a very hard time hiding your feelings, and you know you'll be thinking of that the whole time you're around her, you probably should find a reason you "can't" go. But if you can put your feelings aside and celebrate the baby, then I'd go ahead. And be a loving, Godly presence the best you can.
Tough one. Hmmm. If I had already accepted the invite I guess I'd go but be well prayed up ahead of time and ready if necessary to answer any such comments at the shower.
…as one who gets more staunch in his Catholic beliefs with every passing year, and actually left social media because, among other reasons, some childhood friends posted similar things, I can relate. I’m not saying it’s the perfect way, and perhaps if I had a better temperament I could use such social interactions to try and persuade, but in recent years I find myself trying to surround myself with likeminded people when it comes to important moral matters, and avoiding those who do not share my beliefs. It took years…decades for me to get to this point, and it wasn’t because I feel superior to certain people. I just don’t enjoy being around, for any length of time, those who oppose some very deep moral beliefs of mine. I’ve prayed for them, but to resume old relationships with militant pro abortion people, or ones who loved gossiping? No way. If it were me? I’d have no problem politely backing out. But that’s me.
At least she's not aborting the one, so celebrate the victory of life where you can. If this is her first child, after her mothering instincts kick in, maybe her views will change. Personally, I'd go.
I would probably go because of accepting the invitation. If the subject comes up I would say something along the lines of..."May the joy this child brings cause you to change your position."
it is an opportunity for you to defend the doctrine of the Church so that on the day of judgment this woman cannot plead ignorance of the requirement to defend life in order to obtain the sacraments and salvation of the soul; you can follow the example of Christ who preached the truth to the Pharisees even though he knew he would be rejected.
…as a follow up to my earlier reply, I should have added that starting about 20 years ago, I just get too riled up when people post on social media or bring up in person things about politics or moral issues that are opposite of mine ( especially when they already know where I stand). So, for me personally, if I was invited to something by someone who brought up views opposite of mine on something like Facebook, I wouldn’t doubt that he or she would do so at a social function. So, I’d avoid it because, again, I get too riled up.
You have described me as well. I have been done with social media for a while. Which is why I only heard about this through family members. I also feel that I have come to a point in my life where I don’t want to be around any of it anymore. I can’t smile or turn the other cheek when someone degrades Catholicism. I really have zero desire to go, but I am struggling with the fact that I said I would be there. What I would really like to do is explain to my family why I don’t want to go, instead of making up a reason I can’t make it. But I also don’t want to make a big deal that I am not going so it’s just a tricky decision.
That is definitely true. If it gets brought up I will have to pray for the Holy Spirit to guide my words. I may get too upset. Although I can not imagine abortion being brought up at a baby shower of all places. So I don’t think I will have the opportunity to defend life.
Thank you all for your advice I do so appreciate it! The shower is next weekend. So I will have to make my decision soon. I just can not wrap my head around how a person can acknowledge they have a baby growing inside of them. And then think that a different woman has a clump of cells, that needs to be chopped up. It sickens me.
…I don’t disagree with any of the above comments by others. But I just know me. You mentioned leaving social media, also. I was still in touch ( if you call being connected on FB in touch) with 3 friends I knew when I was 5 to 11 ( now Im a 56 year old kid). But they kept repeatedly posting views like the ones you’re having to deal with. It really spoiled what I thought was kind of a neat thing ( staying in touch with friends from my childhood). I guess I was brought up that you didn’t bring those things up in social settings, unless it was mutually agreed upon or people shared your views. Others could rightfully argue that by not talking about it, minds might never be changed. But my experience has been that those who bring it up like we’re discussing will never bend, only argue and irritate. As for making an excuse as to why you can’t go, well there’s any number of ways to do that. If she brought up politics and abortion, would you not get some form of headache? There you go. You feel a migraine coming on ( truthfully) and you cant make it. Or, get lost on the way and just show up as everyone’s leaving, and give your gift. Or, simply say you aren’t feeling well. Going to something that would make you miserable certainly constitutes not feeling well. There’s always the toughest one to do; blow the lid off of all of it and just calmly say you can’t attend because it upsets you beyond belief that, on one hand a new life is being celebrated, while at the same time she’s posting her approval of killing babies in the womb. I think Ive rambled enough on this one
A wise old Nun told me one time that we don't change people's hearts by ignoring them .. Jesus didn't. Although I must admit I find myself keeping more and more to myself these days. A niece came visiting from the USA the other week. It turned out she is in a Lesbian relationship. I am glad now I missed her.
I think PurpleFlowers reply is spot on. Your presence acknowledges the joy and gift of a new life, always to be celebrated. Remember this young expectant mother will still be learning about life. She may well come to understand later that all unborn babies are equally precious, and something has to be wrong in a society which cancels unwanted pregnancies. You don't need to comment, just be happy for the new baby.
It's a piece of advice you hear often these days - get rid of toxic or negative people from your life. I often wonder when I hear that. What about family members? What about a spouse? I too was brought up to steer clear of religion and politics out of good manners. So I'm always shocked when someone starts spouting off on controversial subjects at work for example. It's unprofessional and ends up with bad feelings all round. Workng relationships have to be maintained and whatever they are paying us by the hour for it's not for riling colleagues. But good manners shouldn't silence us altogether and in any case where do we draw the line with which topics? I've seen a discussion on sport escalate very fast indeed Among our families and friends if we don't engage how will we ever change their minds As others have said it is amazing to hear mothers advocating for abortion. The mental gymnastics involved baffle me. It's like there is a fog of confusion surrounding them. With the leak of the Supreme Court decision the pro aborts are all over social media and MSM. I note they now refer to pro life as anti choice. Call me that to my face and I'll call you anti life Listening to a discussion around this on the radio yesterday without a single pro life voice in the mix I wondered if people simply go whatever way the wind is blowing. They rejected the church as their guide so now they've got MSM "I saw a snake in an old apple tree But I didn't believe a word that he hissed at me" I don't know if you should attend or not. With all the controversy at the moment I'd say abortion will be discussed though especially as the expectant mother is obviously willing to initiate the topic. Staying silent won't be an option.
I don't know if you should attend or not. With all the controversy at the moment I'd say abortion will be discussed though especially as the expectant mother is obviously willing to initiate the topic. Staying silent won't be an option. Right, Krizevac. This is a social gathering and as such, attendance is not required. IMHO it should be fairly easy to give a gracious excuse to not attend.
If I do go it will be the absolute last thing I want to do. So is this something I could offer up…. The couple of hours I am there attending. Or I could attend my sons baseball tournament which I would much prefer.
