Anger, fear of rash judgements, accusations, unforgiveness etc.

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I have these ongoing problems with anger issues and fear of being falsely judged, accused, or not being forgiven for something I actually did. I get really angry when I or us Catholics as a whole get falsely accused of something, or I get my own reputation harmed. There's a lot of things I can see in my past that I can see contributing to this, though still can't see how it all works and how to heal from it.

I can clearly see it being a danger to me in many ways; I mentioned before that I admire the Canadian Martyrs because their willingness to die for the Faith made it impossible for modern Left-wing academics to accuse them of racism, wanting to dominate the Indigenous and so forth. I pray for a Martyr's zeal, but because of the above I fear the danger of going to the other extreme, of acting out of spite, desperation and insanity. I fear that if I get falsely accused of something and I feel like there's no way out and no way to convince people otherwise, I'll have to drive myself to an insane, self-destructive length to convince them otherwise.

Does anyone have any help and advice to get myself out of these thoughts and fears?

 

I find Journaling helps. I keep a God journal with all my needs and wants. Some people I know write at night how they see their day. How they acted. Just a suggestion.