Hi everyone, I'm living in Ireland and am looking for spiritual direction/guidance at the moment and was wondering if anyone had any ideas. I'm also considering a vocation but God hasn't opened any doors yet, except back in 2016 when I approached the local diocesan office and was interviewed and accepted provided I wait for one year, however I reconsidered vocation at that time. Not sure what my calling is at the moment for my life, I am nearly finished a one year course, will be finished this May all going to plan. Really struggling with darkness and indecision also at the moment and can't seem to figure out the right path. Am trying to figure out God's will for my life.
Seem to be going through somewhat of a dark night for a long time also, feeling that God is angry with me and that He is showing me my sins.
In praying and seeking counsel, Sanctus, one practical way to help discern a vocation is to visit a couple of religious orders, or a least a seminary where diocesan students are being trained. It is simply not talking with a vocation director, but also conversing with those who are 2, 3, or 4 years ahead of you in the process of formation. In that way you hear not just the standard line, but also: This is where I'm at, at this point in the journey. Now if you speak with a novice, he probably won't say anything negative the first day because he wouldn't want to discourage you. But by day 2 he will let his guard down and be more natural and honest regarding your questions. In today's world where few are answering the call, especially to diocesan life, a vocation can be a more lonely journey.
It can be Mario, and there are alot of things to try and throw a person off that path too. Hopefully the dark spell that is going on at the moment will pass and things will become more clear in time, please God. Not considering Marriage or having children at the moment either, so who knows what God's plan might be?
The Lord never reveals sin for the sake of your humiliation or because He is angry and desires to punish you. He rather reveals our sins, so that we come to know the wonders of His Mercy and experience humility. Any discouragement you feel that tempts you to beat yourself up, or call it quits, is from the enemy. In repentance, you move one step away from Hell and one step closer to heaven. Lord, be merciful to me a sinner.
Thanks Mario, it's a relief to hear that. Also praying for greater chastity of the senses at the moment.
In my experience Sanctus the enemy is the accuser not Christ. The Holy Spirit reveals our sins to us but never with that feeling of anger. And if these are sins you ve already confessed then this is truly not from God.
Perhaps they are not quite being revealed with anger, AED. It can be more of a feeling of being abandoned than anything else. Got the Divine Mercy picture in the post also a few days ago and praying the Chaplet regularly.
Wow. I needed that. There was so much guilt induction and emotional abuse as a kid (Protestant parents & denomination), that I've continued this association -- until this moment.
But the Holy Spirit does not abandon us if we are trying our best to follow Jesus. Truly. These feelings are the desolation that St Ignatius speaks of--best to keep to your regular prayer routine and make many acts of trust in Jesus and ride it out. God permits this but He is not abandoning you. You are in Gethsemane with Jesus right now. Unite your pain to His so that He may be consoled. I am praying for you tonight.
Lots of different directions this thread is going. But I will go to first topic. Spiritual Director...it is not easy to find. What Mario said is true...enjoy the journey visit different orders. And if you have the means even in different countries. That would give you a very good idea of how all orders are different. If you can check out the Norbinetines in Orange County Ca. ...very strong order. But back to question...you need to ask God for a spiritual director. It’s that easy. Not just once but make it a daily prayer. simple prayer...”if it’s your will, please give me a spiritual director.” Now understand this might take 6 months or 6 years... you never know. But if you have faith, and it’s Gods will, it will happen. Sometimes Gods plan is not what you think you need. It’s what grace God gives. sounds pretty corny, but God has plans. Might not be your plans...but Gods plan. Keep the faith. We will all be praying for you.
Thanks AED. I'm sure Saint John of the Cross spoke about stuff like this too that can happen in the spiritual life. Have been reading some quotes from him lately, nothing too heavy.
Have been finding that a terrible fear can come over me at night time too for the past while, not too sure what that's all about... I just keep saying "Jesus, I Trust in You!" and hope it will pass.
if you have a mobile device, play a good religious video to teach and distract you...the rosary you tube videos. It works like a charm. Until you fall back asleep.
Thanks Beth. It's strange, have been struggling at night for the past couple of months for some reason. Once 11pm comes I start getting uneasy.
Hi everyone, it is past 11 again and am experiencing these horrible feelings again. It is like a feeling of "hell" or at least that is how I'm perceiving it. It is really scary. I'm unsure why the Holy Spirit would act in this way? Perhaps there might be a reason that it is being permitted. I really don't know
Not the Holy Spirit. Something else is going on. I hope Adoremus can help you find a priest or spiritual advisor. Praying for you tonight.
