Hell isn't really a place I think very much about. Saint Teresa of Avila got a letter from a father telling her was going on a retreat and thought maybe he would meditate on hell during his week away. Saint Teresa, his daughter had one simple word of advice for him, 'Don't' . I suppose the great saint thought that there was so many positive and helpful things to meditate on that we were better to dwell on the positive rather than something that could scare us hakf to death thinking about and that, anyway is a real mystery. For myself I always tend to turn to God's Mercy, rather than God's justice. Also on devotion , prayer and love for Our Blessed Mother. Because really really I don't know how anyone who has a True Devotion to Our Blessed Lady could ever in any way end up in Hell. It just doesn't seem possible to me. If we read what the saint , such as Saint Louis Grignion De Montford says on the matter they say the same thing thing, to follow Mary and not to fear. Or as Saint John says 'Love casts out fear'. So I got a bit of a shock praying a few nights back, just before I fell asleep when I seemed to find myself in hell, for a time. Hell I might add was the last thought on my mind. Terror and fear and a deep deep sadness. I did not see fire of hear sounds, just a deep, deep gloom and darkness. My first thought was, 'Were am I?' Then when I realised were a deep terror knowing that this could be eternal. Also a nagging question, 'How did I end up here?' Its funny were prayer can lead us sometimes. Its the first time I ever though myself somewhere like that...and it seemed so real. One good thing though it has left me with the deepest compassion for pour souls that are in danger of going there, I will try to pray everyday for poor sinners, the Fatima prayer. Also it has left me a deeper concoiusness and dread of sin. I must get to confession soon.
Padraig, Your experience reminds me of a similar one I had in February, 1988. Benjamin and Rachel had been put to bed; I was sitting alone in the living room reading, Medjugorje- A Portfolio of Images. It had been less than two months since our pilgrimage to that holy place. Though I can't recall the exact date, I do remember the page I was on: 25. Suddenly, as out of nowhere, a darkness penetrated my heart. It was, as if, the fire of God's love had been extinquished and I was experiencing the gloom and hopelessness of the damned souls in Hell. My heart felt like it was plunged into the Pit while the rest of me was left back home. The sense of separation from God was profoundly painful. This lasted about 20 minutes, I believe, and I remember shedding tears. It ended as abruptly as it began. Though the why of my bleak sojourn still remains mysterious, I can identify with your feelings and conclusions. May God make me a more effective evangelizer. A heart for others is the key. Padraig, thanks for the reminder. Safe in the Hearts of Jesus and Mary!
Maybe, Terry, we need to see a bit of the dark, before we can appreciate the light. Funnily I was reading about Saint Francis Xavier today when he was preaching in Japan. One of the reasons the bonzes, the Japanese monks gave for not believing was the Church's teachings on an eternal hell. They don't believe in such a thing and asked, 'If there is a loving God how can there be a hell?? It is a mystery, but I believe in it all right. I have also been wondering recently if maybe we were all too quick to say that people who do not accept the Gospel will go to heaven anyway...maybe we promise this too quick and maybe water down the Gospel. But anyway even if there is the least risk of going to hell, no one should risk it, proclaiming the Gospel is important in so many ways...
