Hard to believe that we are entering last week of Lent and the most holiest week of the year. I can’t help but wonder if it will be the last “normal” Holy Week we will celebrate with so much of the world in chaos. But, I’m choosing to put as much of that aside this coming week. To use this week not toward the physical preparation and worries, but the spiritual which in the end are most important as they ultimately are eternal. I pray that everyone on this site truly have a Holy Week! I pray we can all slow down a bit and turn inward and seek the God who loved us so much, he came to earth to suffer, die on a cross and then Resurrect. Hope is the message. Prayers for all of us this week…. ————————————————————————————————- Dear Lord, your disciple Peter wanted to know who would betray you. You pointed to Judas but a little later also to him. Judas betrayed, Peter denied you. Judas hanged himself, Peter became the apostle whom you made the first among equals. Lord, give me faith, faith in your endless mercy, your boundless forgiveness, your unfathomable goodness. Let me not be tempted to think that my sins are too great to be forgiven, too abominable to be touched by your mercy. Let me never run away from you but return to you again and again, asking you to be my Lord, my Shepherd, my Stronghold, and my Refuge. Take me under your wing, O Lord, and let me know that you do not reject me as long as I keep asking you to forgive me. Perhaps my doubt in your forgiveness is a greater sin than the sins I consider too great to be forgiven. Perhaps I make myself too important, too great when I think that I cannot be embraced by you anymore. Lord, look at me, accept my prayer as you accepted Peter’s prayer, and let me not run away from you in the night as Judas did. Bless me, Lord, in this Holy Week, and give me the grace to know your loving presence more intimately. Amen. - Henri Jozef Machiel Nouwen
From todays Morning Prayer: Sing my tongue, the glorious battle, Sing the ending of the fray; To the Cross, our noble trophy, Here a fitting tribute pay, Telling how the world’s Redeemer, Slain as victim, won the day. Tell how, when at length the fullness Of the appointed time was come, He, the Word, was born of woman, Left for us his Father’s home, Showed to men the perfect manhood, Shone as light amidst the gloom. Now the thirty years are ended Which on earth he willed to see, Willingly he meets his Passion, Born to set his people free; On the Cross the Lamb is lifted, There the sacrifice to be. Faithful Cross, above all other, One and only noble Tree, None in foliage, none in blossom, None in fruit thy peer may be; Sweet the wood and sweet the iron, And the load, most sweet is he. Unto God be praise and glory: To the Father and the Son, To the eternal Spirit, honour Now and evermore be done; Praise and glory in the highest, While the timeless ages run.
I wanted to share a reflection I did at my Church for last year's Good Friday Holy Triduum Service. It was such a labor of love to write and share how the suffering Jesus has taught me while praying the Sorrowful Mysteries of the Rosary. I know you will all be able to relate to what I have written below. The Suffering Servant When I reflect on the Suffering Jesus, especially when praying the Sorrowful Mysteries of the Rosary, with help of the Holy Spirit, I am able to contemplate the Suffering Servant and how much Jesus suffered for me. I contemplate Jesus’ Agony in the Garden of Gethsename. While He was praying, He was so sorrowful that He sweat “tears of blood”. His apostles were asleep…….they could not keep watch for one hour! Jesus is saying that to me! How many times, especially when things are going well for me, I get caught up with the goings on around me. These distractions make my heart move away from the Suffering Servant. Here my Lord is praying the night before His Passion is about to begin. He knows what is ahead of Him…yet He is praying for the strength to take the Cup of Suffering for me and everyone else. I come to that Rock where Jesus is praying and I ask for His forgiveness for forgetting about Him and to try to console Him in whatever human way I can…but it is quite simple right???? He just wants us to love Him. Jesus looks at me with such a look of love that can only come from God. I tell Him I love Him right before Judas comes to betray Him with a kiss. I see a tear fall down Jesus’ cheek. This is the first time that the Suffering Servant “is despised and rejected by men; we did not esteem him”. I pray that I never fall into the temptation, like Judas, to ever betray our Lord. I can’t promise that I won’t fall asleep again but Jesus will be right there at the rock waiting for me. In the 2nd Sorrowful Mystery, The Suffering Servant , taken by the soldiers and is about to be Scourged at the Pillar. This is where the real marring begins. According to Saint Bridget, our Lord suffered 5480 blows at the hands of His tormenters. How did Jesus suffer? He suffered by Roman flagellation (also known as scourging) the tormenters use a flagrum, which is a whip consisting of leather tails that has small metal balls or sheep bones at the end. During the Scourging, while Jesus’ hands are wound with rope and unable to shield himself, the weight of the metal at the end of the tail would carry the sharp balls to the front of His body as well as to His back and arms, His shoulders, and legs down to His calves. The metal would dig deep into His flesh ripping small blood vessels, nerves, muscle and of course His skin. I could go on… basically Jesus body was mangled and ripped…. “marred beyond all recognition”.. and “like a lamb led to the slaughter, He opened not His mouth”. This was done in front of the crowd….. maybe even His Blessed Mother was there. While praying, I picture myself there in the crowd. Would I be able to watch the torture of this innocent Man take place? Here is “A man of sorrows and acquainted with grief as one from whom men hide their faces”. Would I hide my face? Now, I see there are some in the crowd that are cheering while He is being tortured…..Don’t they know that by these very Stripes, they are being healed???! It’s amazing to pray about this. A multitude of emotions flow through me. I feel righteous anger swell inside of me towards these people. I also know that throughout history there were and are still people to this very day, who mock and revile Jesus. My heart sinks and is so saddened by how this must continue to wound our Lord. I’m not going to lie….I feel bad feelings towards all those people. BUT BUT... the Holy Spirit gently but firmly Convicts me and lets me know that Jesus suffered for them AND for me…. And not to forget that MY sins have caused some of His wounds at that Scourging also. How humbled I become at that moment. It fills my heart with the Love of Jesus not only for me but for EVERONE! Praying the 3rd sorrowful mystery, I witness Jesus being Crowned with Thorns. After being brutally scourged, Jesus’ mangled body is robed in a purple cloak . I imagine how this heavy cloth must feel against his ripped flesh. The soldiers make a Crown of sharp thorns and they press it onto His Head as they delight in the pain they are causing Him. They stick a reed in His hand and display Him in front of the crowd. I am once again there. I look upon Jesus and I am amazed at how marred He looks. He is being spat on and mocked as a King. But don’t you know, He is a King!!!!! and yet He still stood there and “opened not His mouth”!!! I think about how Jesus is crowned with thorns every time the holy things of our faith are diminished or ridiculed. Once again, Jesus reminds me of a lesson I can learn from this…..on humility…. that I need to keep my own pride in check. How easy it is to get my back up….how little does it take for me to open my mouth??? For each time I am proud or self-righteous, I too place a thorn in the Crown of Jesus. As this scene unfolds, despite the enemies continuing to insult him, Jesus looks at me and everyone else with his Loving Gaze. At this moment, He embraces my heart. I hear Him saying, all I want to be is the KING of your heart!! While Jesus carried His Cross, Jesus fell three times as His Body was dying from the wounds He endured …the soldiers did not want him to die yet, so they found a bystander to help…that was Simon of Cyrene. I think he was reluctant to help….maybe by association, he thinks that he too may end up being crucified. Is that how we feel when at times of our life, we may have to carry a cross? We are afraid to. I know it’s scary to carry a cross. But when I witness friends and family who encounter the carrying of their cross through tragedy, I see something beautiful take place among the extreme sadness. Just like Simon, I think as he began his journey helping Jesus carry the cross, he felt closer to Jesus. I feel that is what happens while we carry our own crosses. The Suffering Servant lets us know that He will help us carry our cross. Now, Jesus, the Suffering Servant is being nailed to the Cross in my last Sorrowful Mystery. This is that point in time, when Jesus is “raised high and greatly exalted”. I imagine Jesus being raised on the Cross after He suffered the blows of the big blunt nails to His hands and feet. I imagine the indescribable pain of His being cruelly stretched out on the Cross as it is being raised. But yet….but yet…..while nailed to the cross, Jesus says “Forgive them Father for they know not what they are do”. I assume Jesus is saying this on behalf of the roman soldiers who just nailed Him to the Cross. Maybe also for all those who persecuted Him, the Jews, Pilate, even His apostles who denied Him and ran away…..but I know Jesus is saying this for me too. He is on the Cross for all of our sins. Because of His Death on the Cross, just like Jesus said to the good thief, “Amen I say to you today you will be with me in paradise”. This is His promise to all of us if we love Him and keep His Commandments. Then minutes later, Jesus says “into your hands I commend my Spirit” and He breathes His last. What would I have done….seeing everything seeming as it was falling apart for Jesus? Christ was so marred during His Passion…. He was Helpless, naked, bleeding, He was a battered corpse on the Cross. He was ultimately cut off from the land of the living…..Upon Him was the chastisement that made us whole. Sometimes, I wonder if I would be like the apostles and feeling hopeless seeing Him on the Cross, would I run away also? Or, would I have been like Peter even saying that I didn’t know the Man? I hope I would be like one of the women who stood at the foot of the cross….who were there when Jesus was taken down from the Cross and laid in the Tomb. I can only imagine how many looked upon Him and were amazed….so marred was His look beyond that of man…and to this day, He has startled many nations and because of Him, kings have stood speechless. That this Suffering Servant has taught us that suffering brings us closer to God. And with that, brings happiness that no nation or king could bring us. I know this is the reason for a constant joy and hope in me that I cannot explain. We must never forget, then, what was accomplished for us on Good Friday; that cruelty was overcome by Holy Love and the burial of a dead Man was the burial of death itself. May we be blessed that we are those who have been told, shall see the Glory of this Suffering Servant. Let us be like Jesus’ faithful followers who ran to the Tomb finding it empty and crying out Jesus has Risen!
I managed to get up to the Traditional Holy Thursday Mass and Rites yesterday evening. The first time I had attended such a thing since I was a child. My first impression was how beautiful they are. One priest and two priests as Deacons in the most beautiful God embroidered hand stitched golden chasubles. Such a rich liturgy. I loved it when the altar boys all rung hand bells together. I have seen such things in the Eastern Liturgy but had no idea we used to do this in West. I dozed off during the priests Homily into a deep, deep sleep. I had been unwell and sleepless a few nights and am afraid I found the length of the Liturgy something of a trial. I had to sit down at one time whilst everyone was standing. At Communion the Mass had gone on an hour and a quarter and they still had not even gotten to the Washing of the Feet. So after receiving communion I beat a hasty retreat. By my estimation the rites would have gone about another hour, taking it to 2 and a quarter hours. I would never have made it. But it was lovely. Maybe if I had been at best I could have done it. But I was not at my best. Today up for the Good Friday service at three. I see in their calendar it says, 'Mass of the unsanctified'. I will have to look that up to see what it means. I feel like I am a Catholic who is learning to be a Catholic again and not a very good one. I have been so much looking forward to the Easter Vigil. I will attend but unless I have a good nights sleep and am well I think I will only be able to last a bit. But God loves a trier. I am sorry my Father and Mother are not alive to see the Old Liturgies, they would have adored. As do I. But I struggle to survive them, much as I enjoy them. Previous generations were made of much sterner stuff than poor old me. Having said this I attended an Orthodox Mass on the island of Cyprus one time and it appeared to never end. They do long, long, long Liturgies on a regular basis and think nothing of it. I shall have to toughen up.
It occurs to me about Holy Week in a special way that as with much else in life, what you put in is what you get out. I had much more time to put into Lent and Holy Week and this seems set to be a very,very special time. May,as the years roll on may it become Holier and Holier. Maybe one day I will even do things right. But even our failures can be great teachers, I think.
