The need for silence Listen carefully, my son, to the master’s instructions, and attend to them with the ear of your heart.- Rule of St. Benedict 1:1 Right from the beginning of the Rule, St. Benedict, brings to the fore the importance of listening. It cannot be overstated how important it is to learn to truly listen to others, take in what is said, and apply it if needed. When reading the rule, most of the problems dealt with has to do with the fruit of those who do not listen to the wise counsel of the Master. In order to listen, inner silence is needed. This inner silence can only be developed by self-knowledge. The deeper this self-understanding becomes, the more intently we are able to listen to what others are trying to tell us, as well as being aware of our life’s circumstances, cycles, etc. This is of course difficult. Our Egos have many defenses that seek to protect us from truths that are unpleasant to our ears. There are times when silence is soothing, comforting, and healing in the best sense of the word. We all need times like these, and if we are not able to slow down and simply breathe, it can lead to serious difficulties on many levels. We have to step back, take stock, and hopefully find insights that will help us to live out our commitments with more clarity. We are called to interact with others, and not simply react. Simply reacting only increases stress and will often lead to fatigue. Prayer and silence go together of course. When we are walking the path of faith with intent, we quickly learn if open to the Spirit, the many ways we often try to side-step our commitments. We become aware of layers that lie deep in our souls that are in opposition to God. This leads to humility, or the beginning of humility. The first degree of humility in the Rule is this: 10 The first step of humility, then, is that a man keeps the fear of God always before his eyes (Ps 35[36]:2) and never forgets it. 11 He must constantly remember everything God has commanded, keeping in mind that all who despise God will burn in hell for their sins, and all who fear God have everlasting life awaiting them. 12 While he guards himself at every moment from sins and vices of thought or tongue, of hand or foot, of self-will or bodily desire, 13let him recall that he is always seen by God in heaven, that his actions everywhere are in God’s sight and are reported by angels at every hour.” Chapter 7: 10-13 The above quote brings to mind the scripture verse: The Fear of the Lord is the beginning of Wisdom.” As we progress in the Spiritual Life, again with intent, we have to face up to our actual lack of freedom in following what we are commanded to do. This can lead to a sense of being an outcast, bringing out our unstated fears of God, as well as our unhealthy projections. The reason the first degree of humility is so important is that we learn of our need for grace, as well as our desire to grow in trust and love of God. This cannot happen if we do not listen, and move forward in spite of our fears. We trust. This is the beginning of the “Death to Self” that Jesus talks about. Our fear of God flows from our self-centeredness. God uses that to draw us closer. It is grace that allows us to grow in inner freedom and this can be a long process. This is how we wrestle with God. Like Jacob we are wounded and feel ourselves limping along, our sense of self being torn down by grace so as to be built up again. To say that it takes courage to face up to our childish ideas of God, His love, is an understatement. Our brokenness, our compulsions, and our actual sins need to be seen and even embraced so as to lessen the fear. It is easy to forget that the revelation of Jesus Christ is to show us the love of the Father for us as we are so that we can open up our hearts without fear. 12 For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. 13 Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account. 14 Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has ascended into heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. 15 For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. 16 Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. Hebrews 4: 12-16 Like Christ, as we progress in our ability to embrace the truth about ourselves, we also grow in compassion and love of others leading to our being merciful towards them. This happens because we begin to understand Jesus' meaning when he states “We must love our neighbor as ourselves.” The deeper the silence that flows from our understanding of God’s love for us, not allowing our own weakness and even sinfulness to draw us back into negative self-absorption the deeper our union with God, and others. In others, we see ourselves, as well as the reality of Jesus present, one with, those around us. Those we love, those we don’t, the stranger, as well as the outcast. Do not fear, but simply allow God’s loving gaze to do its healing work. Patience and endurance is needed, but it brings forth joy in the midst of suffering and struggle because we trust in God’s love for us.-Br.MD
