The struggle implicit in our faith walk, and prayer life One of the prisoners that I am writing to, brought up some issues he is having with his faith in God and prayer. I do not know why he is in prison, and usually, I do not look that up unless I feel the need to. I have done it twice only. His struggles while unique to him, are still very common, though that does not lessen the struggle nor the pain involved. It is part of the human situation. I certainly have the same type of struggles. When faith in God is strong, and God is seen as personal, which is true in the Christian faith, as well as a loving God, which points to having a loving relationship with God, then it is easy to see why prayer would be important for those serious about their faith, about their relationship with God. Jesus speaks about our relating to the Father in the same way that we seek relationships with other human beings. Even relationships with animals, and our pets, bring out the need for perseverance, a death to self-centeredness, which forces an end to a self-centered way of life. That takes sacrifice, and a willingness to work through crises, as well as loss. It can’t be helped. No relationship that has any depth is without struggle, and yes suffering. Below is what I shared with this prisoner. A young man with whom I feel respect for his honesty and humility in talking about his life. Please pray for him, and other prisoners who are seeking a deeper relationship with God and who want to end destructive lifestyles. Hello William, (not his real name) First of all my friend, faith is a gift from God. What gets in the way is our ideas on how faith should look, or work for us. Our faith will not save us from the ‘normal’ problems of life, as many seem to believe. Many of which are very serious and heavy to carry. No one is free of them. Being lonely, suffering pain, separation from loved ones, and depression, all of these very human experiences have to be gone through. Yet faith means that we believe in our hearts that the Lord is with us, walks with us, and loves us no matter how we feel, or think, at the time. All of our moods, our health, and even our mental health are in constant flux, they all pass. Prayer allows us to stay rooted in the present and to move forward. Fear of suffering can cause us to feel lost and alone, yet to embrace our lives with Christ Jesus infuses all of our experience with meaning. Prayer can be very difficult. One time a very prayerful woman told me that there are moments for her where all she can do is breathe Jesus. I have often thought of that when I too am in pain, tired, or feel cut off from God. The reason for prayer is to have a loving relationship with God. All relationships that have any depth to them, come with many difficulties, most of them come from ourselves. Loving relationships force us to grow, to become less selfish, and more other-focused. It is purifying. There are crisis situations that come with all deep, enduring relationships that must be traversed. If not, then the relationship will die. Trust has to grow, and the taming of the ego also has to come into play. Listening is learned, which is also a form of seeing deeply. Friendships do not always make life easier, but they are filled with more joy, love, and intimacy. So, with God. The more we trust, and navigate with our issues with God, the deeper we can go into prayer. That means that often we pray out of pure love, not for what we can get out of ‘God’, or our ideas of ‘God’ that are literally very childish. These idols cannot survive the ups and downs of our lives. It is when we pray like this, because it is an act of the will, we may wrongly think that we are not really praying because we are not ‘feeling’ anything. Nothing could be further from the truth. Do not fear struggle, temptation, failure, and the aridity that is a normal part of our journey. Always pray the way you can, and do not force yourselves otherwise. Sometimes all one can do is simply sit, and become aware of God’s presence. All prayer is an invitation from God, when we pray, or think that we attempt to pray, we are responding. Keep up your journey, and be attentive when you are at mass and the reality of the Eucharist. So let us pray for one another, and help to support one another in our desire to draw close to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. Be looking forward to hearing from you again, when you have the time. In the love and peace of Jesus Christ Br. Mark Dohle
