We had a visiting Priest say Mass for us and he gave a wonderful homily about forgiveness which I found to be very helpful to me personally and I wanted to share it with you all. He said forgiveness is not a feeling, it is a decision. He told us a personal story about when he was in Seminary. He had a Professor who did something to him that really angered him and he couldn't forgive him. It got to the point where he stopped receiving Holy Communion and pretended to be sick so as to miss Mass. He decided he couldn't be a Priest if he couldn't forgive. So he talked to his Spiritual Director who gave him a 3 point plan to forgiveness. Ask yourself these 3 questions: Firstly, do you want to forgive him? Secondly, do you want evil to happen to him, do you want him to suffer, do you want him to burn in hell? (noting that none of these things would change what happened); and Thirdly, do you want good to happen to him?; do you want him to be saved? I hope this helps anyone who might be struggling with forgiving someone. It really helped me.
Those are solid suggestions, Shae. Thank you. I believe JoeJerk plays on my negative emotions when I'm angry and/or have been hurt. For me it would be best if I have the questions/ statements written down so that I can review them and affirm them. In my anger, I need to formulate a habitual response to anger. If I can grab a sheet of paper and ask these questions, they will remind me of what God desires. I should desire to forgive. I should desire good for him/her in spite of my hurt. I should desire that he/she be in a saving state of grace. Done. I've copied them and put them in my wallet so that these statements can readily be available and properly motivate me to pray! Thank you!
I have tried something similar. It does really help. For me, if the hurt comes back, l have to repeat the process. Thanks for this post. Being in unforgiveness is a spiritually dangerous place for a Christian.
Excellent! Years ago I also got this same advise. I worked with a gal who decided to pursue my husband. She followed him around and gave him sob stories about her life so that he felt she needed him. She joined his volleyball team to be around him more too. It broke up our marriage. When I saw her I literally wanted to run her over! (was not converted yet at the time!) a few months later had a huge conversion but struggled with my anger at her. I grudgingly also prayed the Rosary for her (ONCE that's all I could bear to do for her LOL) and on top of above, if I started thinking about her I just shut it off and forced myself to think about other things. It worked...
sometimes it's really good to look at our "inner child" and be inspired by what once lived in us, after all, children forgive much more easily and most people consider childhood the best phase they've ever lived, which brings a sigh of nostalgia for the time when life was lighter.
